Laughter sayings


My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.
— Bob Monkhouse

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought…I must put a roof on this lavatory.
— Les Dawson
I used to have Mad Cow’s disease, but I’m alright Nooooooooow.
— Billy Connolly
A man commented to his lunch companion: “My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she’d married a millionaire.” “You’re lucky,” sighed the companion. “My wife dreams that in the daytime.”
— Sam Ewing
If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that!
— Milton Jones

An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.  ~Willaim Castle


If The Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me.  ~Song title by Jimmy Buffet

Man was predestined to have free will.  ~Hal Lee Luyah

Maybe this world is another planet’s hell.  ~Aldous Huxley

Murphy was an optimist.  ~O’Toole’s Commentary

The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless.  ~Nicholas Chamfort

The philosophy exam was a piece of cake — which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Don’t be so open-minded that your brains fall out.

“It’s me and you against the world. So when do we attack?”

I drink to make other people interesting.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
 ~humorous quotes about Humorous Sayings by Funny Guy

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved
 ~funny sayings about anchorman by GrandPHA

If it weren’t for stress I’d have no energy at all.
 ~Hilarious funny anchorman quotes

Chocolate. Coffee. Men.Some things are just better rich.
 ~humorous quotes about Funny Life Qutes by Funny Guy

Before anything else, preparation is the key to success
 ~funny sayings about anchorman by Alexander Graham Bell

   There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel…just hope it’s NOT a train!
 ~Hilarious free funny quotes

[Humorous Sayings]
[Funny Work Sayings]
[Joke quotes]
[Marriage quotes]
[Funny Dieting Quotes(27)]
[Funny Life Qutes(26)]
[Funny Office Joke]
[Funny Wisdom]

[Funny Tombstone quotes]
[Birthday sayings]

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
 ~humorous quotes about Humorous Sayings by Funny Guy

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved
 ~funny sayings about free by GrandPHA

If it weren’t for stress I’d have no energy at all.
 ~Hilarious free funny quotes

Chocolate. Coffee. Men.Some things are just better rich.
 ~humorous quotes about Funny Life Qutes by Funny Guy

Before anything else, preparation is the key to success
 ~funny sayings about free by Alexander Graham Bell

You can’t deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants
 ~funny Laughter sayings about Laughter quotes

Funny Love Quotes
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Funny Guy Quotes
Funny Friendship Quotes
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He who laughs, lasts
 ~cute quote about Laughter quotes

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else
 ~sweet quote on Laughter

Laughter is the closest distance between two people
 ~hilarious Laughter quote by Victor Borge

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